Sad

I can't help but over think stuffs, especially when I'm alone. I might have tried the inhale-exhale- think-about-your-problem yoga thingy and even though the instructor said " Think about all the bad stuff that happen and together we throw it away and leave it to 2012" No, it didn't work and it doesn't work that way.  I still have a whole pail of problems and sucks that I left my Bible in my locker and I haven't read for weeks, I feel empty and unloved without it. Okay, let me some up all the things that's bothering me. 

 First and for all, I'm sorry for being so negative these days, it's just that I want something that I can't have. Although my family scolded me about how lucky I am that I can get anything more than my other cousins do. No, I don't have all and they don't know about it. Anyways, still..even if I'm like this, it's surprisingly how caring my family are. I JUST LOVE THEM MORE THAN ANYTHING. 

Second, even though I don't wanna regret, I really do. I do, I do ! I don't like to go to my ******. If you have actually read this , you know what I mean. I can't love them anymore, I can't love the remaining days left with them. EVERYDAY IS HELL. I'm so sorry, God. I know you understand me. 

Third, I can't focus on the good side. I know I chose to feel this way, but there are just so many problems. Even though I smile every now and then, at the tip or back of my mind there's this " family problem" that you all don't know about that I'm carrying with me everyday. It stresses me out, 'cause I'm the eldest and every time my parents remind us about it, I feel hopeless. 

Fourth, lastly, I don't know if I'm a psycho or what..I feel like going to a psychiatrist, I know I've said this. I'm so messed up and as a friend say, I'm fucked up !! Oh dear darling, I don't know anymore but the least that I can do with all of this trouble is to be stronger than fear and not let words bring me down. Let's just say I'm fighting till the end, I am. Yes, that's it ! 

" For we cannot do anything against the truth, but only for the truth" - 2 Corinthians 13:8

Oh, and you might wanna drop by here to give me some advices and what you think about this post :)

Great start for a new team

Although, our school is small and only few people are enhanced to sports (because there are only few sports to join to). Our school's very own cheer dancing team was built again, hopefully, we will be able to compete with others in the future. As for now, we have a lot of training to do and by the grace of God, our first performance was well done. Here are some pictures during our practice, YES, we take pictures in the middle of our practice, that's how cool we bond and our coach is. 

(Wearing red, meet our high-skilled coach, Alexander Lee)

Our coach doesn't only choreograph his own master piece, but he also host parties. You can contact him through here .

If you wanna watch our dance, just click this.

Someday

           Everyone wants to look her best; some would even spend so much in order to feel beautiful.  I started dressing up when I was 13 years young, my relatives have always told me that I dress so mature and I have the potential to become a fashion designer. I was always flattered whenever they say that to me.

          Well 1^st of all, I love clothes. Now that I’m 16, I’m getting more attached to fashion, I’m addicted to fashion, it’s like my drugs. I couldn’t go a week without at least having a new clothing to add in my closet.  I keep up with the most latest fashion trend by reading my favorite bloggers website, sometimes in magazines and I enjoy doing it. I want to be the one who would show the ins and outs of becoming a fashionista. I think it’s fun to work inside a fashion industry; you’ll get to meet and collaborate with creative people and known models or artists. I want to learn how to dress someone based on their personality, to learn how to find the perfect clothes for each client, and be able to guide and boost up their confidence. I’m actually the current stylist of my brother, I dress him up whenever we go out and I choose his clothes.  And you know what makes me happy, is that whenever people see my brother they adore what he wears.  Although shopping with friends is fun, shopping with a fashion stylist is better because they know what will suit you nevertheless, I was also thinking about getting some of my friends style them, take pictures and put it here. I think it’s the fastest way for people to know you, internet is a huge part of business now a days.  Moreover, I got more interested in fashion because of Kryz Uy, my favorite fashion blogger. She wears the most elegant and unique pieces of clothes and it makes you want to have it all.  She’s such an inspiration and I will surely be an aspiring stylist until I make it. click here to see her

              I’ll never get bored on exploring the world of fashion. I know I have an eye for fashion- what looks good or what doesn’t when dressing someone. I know and I will be a trendsetter someday and maybe a professional shopper too. 

Green and Florals

Hey everyone ! Here's a quick outfit post from last Sunday at Maxims,Resorts World. 

I actually love how this outfit turned out so girly and feminine. Don't you find this corset top actually interesting because you can combine it with any color and you can wear it with skinny jeans, shorts or what I'm actually wearing in this photo, flared skirt. 

And because corset tops are starting to be the trend, I brought one to try it out myself. 

So, what do you think? :)

(with my fashionista cousin, Kate)

I bet this Neon Christmas tree looks fabulous at night time. Resort world's one of the places that I would like to go everyday, I super love the ambiance and there's not that much of people. 

Go see for yourself, just click here.

I don't know

(Grad pictorial a while ago)

I don't know how to start this post, just really want to write something..but I don't know what about. 

But cheers to my readers, I'm glad you appreciate my posts and I'm actually receiving good feed backs. Thank you :) 

Though I may put myself down at times, I think it's God way of showing me how strong I can be and awakening me that it's already my last year in high school and I should be more focused and dedicated than I was in my past years. (especially now that it's 2d quarter already)

I wasn't expecting that there will be people who actually understands me and are willing to listen and offer their shoulders for me to lean on. I'm buried somewhere, but I think it's time to gather up courage and rise up again. 

Maybe I'm not happy or depressed, maybe somewhere in between or both at the same time. Not exactly the best student around..but I try, at least I  try and do my best. (especially when cramming :P)

I was supposed to have my bangs cut yesterday but plans changed, so I had it cut today after Chinese dismissal. I don't know if it suits me or not, but whatever, it's already cut. 

" So fill your heart with what's important and be done with all the rest "

A smile can hide so much pain

People complain about how moody I am. All those people, always focus on my bad side. ( I believe everyone has a bad side) But they never had the heart to say, " What are you like that? What is happening? " None of them took actions to help me change. All they did was rant and spread about it. 

Although I know myself that I couldn't actually stop worrying about stuffs that would never happen, I over think a lot. Today, I talked with our guidance counselor about what's actually going on and I've come to many realization (as always). I shall avoid some things that I know are hindrance for what I'm assigned to do. Nobody's perfect and definitely this mistake's a lesson for me once again. We all have a limited time to live a remarkable life. Some people live for seconds, minutes, hours- but nobody is here forever. Just like high school, I've got 4 more months left and prolly all these problems will be just like nothing to me when I graduate. 

But still I know, even if it hurts to hear about it..I have to deal with it and just ignore. I know myself that I'm not doing anything wrong, I'll just focus on my priorities and have an attitude to change myself. I've been trying to change ( again, it's not easy), for the best of everybody. But then, NOBODY ever saw the change. They end up looking at their own perspective. 

I wish somehow they would eventually understand me and not misinterpret all these things and look at the positive side instead. 

I just had to play/experiment with this picture.

" Happiness is a choice " It's easy to be happy when everything seems to go your way, but I think people who are able to smile even though the worst of times is the true definition of happiness. Indeed being happy is a choice, it doesn't just happen. It's going beyond the adventure in every situation, choosing to understand that there will always be light after the dark, moreover; there's always good in every problem and every person, no matter how hard or grim things may seem. 

And this is the key to happiness, TODAY,TOMORROW,EVERYDAY..I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY.  :) 

Treasure Box of Letters

" Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today. " 

" Thank you. " Such a simple phrase yet not said sincerely, often overused and taken for granted. But, can mean so much for the person you intend it to. Can make one feel appreciated, that you genuinely care for that person's existence and recognizing his/her efforts in making your life better. 

As I riff through my old letters, I choose some of my favorites and just thought of sharing it to you.

This letter was from my best friend (for 4 years) back then, this was the outer part of her letter, and this was also the last letter I received from her. 

 This letter was from one of my teammates last last year. As I was reading this a while ago, I come up with a realization that I miss how things were back then, I could've put more importance to them or the things that was going on. But sadly, I can't do anything to change it. Although, I will definitely use this realization, CARPE DIEM !

And because I was desperately wishing to have a brother, this friend of mine pretended that he actually was. He's one of the most caring friend (or shall I say brother) that I've ever met or had. He won't end his day knowing that I had a great day. I must admit that I actually miss his presence. 

Cheesy !! HAHA !  ( I literally laughed when I read this a while ago) There's just so many types of letter and I bet y'know what type this is. Moving on..

This letter's from my currently most understanding friend. Y'know that one friend who'll always be there for you and who'll be honest in front of you and say things directly in a good way ( if you know what I mean). I'm thankful to have her despite of my moodiness. She just understands me, she really does. Thank you Lord, for giving me the opportunity to meet her and be with her. May you continue to shower her with blessings because she did nothing but help me (everyone) to be positive towards the future.

The funniest of all letters I have, I don't actually know why I kept this. And yes, for my new readers you prolly don't know that I'm actually pure Chinese. I'm sorry, you won't be able to read this letter, but this letter's just non sense. A guy friend greeting me when it's not actually my birthday and saying that he missed me in the end. 

Lastly, the latest letter I received. Yes, just today. 

Steph ( what I call her) just made my day today. ♥ And swear this letter is full of real sugar-coated words. I love her to the moon and back. 

This letters made me look back and I regret nothing. And hey, thank God no one has given me a threat or full of hate letter. I must be blessed and I'm happy I was able to say " Thank you " to each one of them and the people I should have. Thanking somebody isn't all that difficult, and it's important to remember to do it. 

Out of the blue, I feel like saying this...I guess it doesn't really matter what mistakes you made yesterday..in fact, it has shaped you to the person you are today ( we should be thankful). Don't let past affect today, just take a breath, start living for today. 

" Those who have hurt you in the past cannot continue to hurt you now unless you hold on to the pain through resentment. "